Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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