And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't want my vagina anymore.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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