Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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