dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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