The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
