it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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