First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
