This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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