im drinking this country out of the recession.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
