Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize