i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
