I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
