can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
