I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We need a shit load of segways right now
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize