Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.