im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today