You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.