Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
