i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
