return my video game
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
