he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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