Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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