hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
