i think i have herpe
just one?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think I sprained my soul last night
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
