I feel like I'm in dance class right now
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
