I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
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My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
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So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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