Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
