People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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