My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
