i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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