And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
