You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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