You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
