Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize