how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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