That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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