And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
