Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
