Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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