Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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