I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she peed on how many people?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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