I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
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heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
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Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights