I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again