My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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