Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
