I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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