you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
