Betty ford says i'm here all night
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
