pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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