oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
