We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
