walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
