i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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