This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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